Personal Writings from Cyris

[Cyris]

OK! This is where I'm going to post a lot of my own personal work. I don't care if it isn't all that grammatical, due to the fact once I'm done with it, I don't look at it again.

BUT! I would like some CnC! Which means "Comments and Criticism!" (Just don't go Grammar Nazi on me.)

They'll be in separate posts and in the next post I'll give links to each. They'll all be in this thread (So I don't take away from Ludwig's EoSW posts)...

Now, I know some of you are like "WUT DA HAELL? YOU WRITE POETRY AND STUFF?" WHY YES I DO! I believe that human emotions can be expressed in such writing and they are an important thing to human life and existence.

I probably won't post any stories here... 'Cause nothing I write goes so long as to call it a story... But I might if I get bored.
Edit: I am working on a story currently. Finishing up chapter six and if ya want me to post it, just tell me! =D I need motivation, people!

All of this is personal, so don't completely bash it's head in.

(Legal stuff as follows I need a lawyer.)
Also, everything I write here is in my name and I forbid any copying or re-posting of anything here without the consent of me, the author.

This post subject to change at any given time.

[Cyris]

Tattered Strings of My Heart
Man Watching His Eulogy

[Cyris]

Tattered Strings of My Heart[/b]

I fell deep into the abyss of sorrow that surround my heart after we split.
Both of us were to blame. Lives going in two different directions. It wasn’t meant to be.
Life without love isn’t a life worth to live. She soon found it again, and it meant something.
I, myself, only felt the pain from the wound. Curse you, you heart piercing arrow!
The heart was left to dangle on it’s thin and tattered strings.
Then a light cut through those tiny strings and a soft and delicate hand grasped my heart!
She was the perfect match. Beauty to only be compared to that of an Angel…
Eyes as green as emeralds and sparkling like water from a spring! Hair of golden curls and soft to the touch.
And soon, the animal inside her was released - Indeed! I unlocked it’s cage…
Every touch. Every kiss. Every moan! Such passion poured from us both.
And so Love, found again, strengthened those tired and worn strings.
But this time, was reinforced with such passion, nothing could ever weaken them…

Note: I don't know what I would call this. Not a poem or anything. Just me wanting to write something. >.> Kthx.

[Ludwig Von Koopa]

That's beautiful.

[Cyris]

I need to get this thread more active. SO I SHALL POST ANOTHER WORK I'VE DONE RECENTLY!

This was actually a request.

Man Watching his Eulogy

I am someone who should go to Hell.
My heart is cold and pale.
But I find myself attached by a chain
Forced to endure a timeless pain.

As I watch them give praise,
All I can do is gaze…
My body sitting in it’s eternal tomb,
Awaiting to burned by Armageddon’s doom.

People line up to say their last goodbyes,
Oh how time flies.
I regret all that I’ve done,
Repentance was the way, not the gun.

To walk the earth eternally.
This is my penalty.
If only I could cry…
Why did I choose to die?

[Ludwig Von Koopa]

Emo song time. Still beautiful.

[Toadster]

I didn't like the first of the Tattered Strings one, it lacked good flow, but with "The heart was left to dangle on it’s thin and tattered strings." (the best line, it's very <3) and onward, it was very good.
Overall it was really good.

Second:
Hell and pale rhyme? That's worse than Shakespeare. :U
But I find myself attached by a chain -> too many syllables
Awaiting to burned by Armageddon’s doom. -> forgot a "be"
Oh how time flies. -> a little bit hyprocritical with the other parts, don't you think? eternal, timeless, eternally; unless I'm missing the purpose of this line, which I probably am.

Overall not as great as the first. :U It's okay.

[Cyris]

Thank you Toadster. Something to build on. Now if only I could give you a prize.

[Ludwig Von Koopa]

I still think you should continue this.

...But the real reason I'm BUMPing this is that posting in the EoSW board wouldn't make sense, and it is laughable/scary that, since Guests can't view the EoSW2 board, that the latest post in the 'fic board is like, Infected Heart from half a year ago.

[Cyris]

I'm actually thinking about posting a story that I'm working on.